Kind genuine people are the kind of people I hope to fill my life with. Life is too short to waste time of rude people.

the civil war

I've been in a weird funk lately. In Breakfast at Tiffany's she talks of the Mean Reds, and how they are different from feeling blue. With the Mean Reds your scared, and you don't know what you are scared of. Well I seem to bounce back from feeling red and blue. I can't decide exactly how I feel. The correct word (I think) would be apathy. I seem to just be going along. I can put on a happy face and seem all cheery, which I probably am at the moment, but I get home and settle down and panic. Sort of. Its not the normal panic I get; where my heart races and I feel like I can't breath and my hands will start shaking and I just can't seem to concentrate. No, this is a silent subtle panic. I don't know.... I just don't know, and that scares me.

I've been feeling quite miserably. I feel this could have made this worse, and I feel it is the cause. It's just this snowball effect. I keep getting these terrible headaches, I feel extremely dizzy, and I feel like I can't get a deep breath. My guess is anxiety. This anxiety causes some depression which then causes anxiety, and so on and so forth. So it's this vicious battle in my mind.



I am definitely one to doubt myself. I think as a human being it is pretty normal. I'm always scared to do something because in my mind the probability of it turning out how I want it to is to low. I tend to be scared and cautious. What a stupid way to act. I know.

When I started college I didn't know what I wanted to do. I ended up declaring and Elementary Education major because I love kids and I was something my parents were happy with. I didn't love it though. It was safe I almost instantly knew it wasn't for me. I would make list after list of things I could study and I kept putting art and photography down. I am such a creative person and I love being able to express myself. I could never make the jump though. I was sure that I would start into my art classes and look dumb because I didn't know as much. I doubted myself. The inner battle continued until last year. I was ready to just take a break from school for a year or so while I tried to figure out what I wanted to do. After many longs talks with my parents and prayers to my Heavenly Father the answer came so clear. I needed to go into art. That would be the only way I could stand staying in school long enough to graduate. I said to myself "Sarah, everyone has to start somewhere. You know that when you want something you will work hard for it, believe in yourself!" Now, a year later, I am an art student with an emphasis in graphic design and I love it. I am actually excited to do my homework. I even instagram it!

So, moral of the story. Take chances. Don't be afraid to fail or get rejected. If you never go out of your comfort zone you will never know what could have happened. How miserable would it be to live a life full of "what ifs?"


Spokane. A while later...

My life is so crazy and busy lately. I finally got a job (hurray!) but with that and school my free time is limited. I kind of need my life like that. When I am staying busy I seem to get more done and I am happier. Since today is my day off I finally have some time to blog again. (yipee!). Get ready for an overload of photos. I love a lot of things and at the very top of the list is my nieces and nephews. I can't seem to stop taking photos of them when they're around. (can you just imagine how bad I'll be with my own kids, oh man!) And Spokane is BEAUTIFUL! Seriously. I want to move there.







The End! 
I told you there were a lot!


reunion with the schlegs

 tee-borrowed from sister   cardigan-Target  skinnies-Kohl's  moccasins-Minnetonka

My sister moved to Spokane with her husband and kids in July. Spokane is too far away. I miss them a lot.  These babies are some of my favorite people. And yes I believe I have the cutest nieces and nephews (and by believe I mean know) Since my younger siblings are on break for Spud Harvest (yeah we get out of school for two weeks to sort potatoes for farmers, cool right?) we made a road trip to see them :) Get ready for a lot of photos in my next post. Oh and excuse the tired, traveling for ten hours look. It was a long day...